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« Atop Cinderella Castle | Main | Walking the “Politically Correct” Line »
Thursday
Apr012010

5 Excellent New Disney Rides Announced

How do they come up with such great ideas?? 

Remember in elementary school when you had to match up things in the left column with things in the right column?  This simple process has proven to be a great way to help Disney executives think of things that will really reach young guests.  No need for heritage, legacy, timelessness, originality, or vision when you can stick the latest pop culture trend on an "outdated" attraction.  This is something we can all be excited about.


In an effort to make Disney rides more "relatable" the following new and/or improved rides at Disneyland and Walt Disney World are being created .

 

1] The High School Musical Autopia
Troy, Gabriella, and the rest of the gang need to take their drivers ed behind-the-wheel driving tests and so do you.  Plywood cutouts of your favorite Disney Channel singers will sing as you drive around the course.  The old Autopia has just always needed more pop music and dancing, right?

2] Hannah Montana's Scary Adventure
Disney will be gutting any reference to Snow White in what is currently Snow White's Scary Adventure.  Miley Cyrus is much more important to the pre-teen scene than that old Snow White movie.

3] Country Bear Jamboree:  Under New Management
Uh oh.  Stitch has teamed up with Randall from Monsters Inc. to manage the Playhouse.  Crazy things are guaranteed to happen.

4] Muppet Babies Hang-Gliding Adventure 
Soarin' has always been missing one thing:  A set of characters.  So our favorite toddler versions of The Muppets will be added.  Kermy and pals will show you the beautiful state of California from high up in the sky as they sing their new theme song, "Muppet Babies, We'll Make Your Hang-Gliding Dreams Come True...".  One really exciting thing about this new adventure is that The Land will look like the famous Muppet Babies nursery.  60-foot fiberglass Nanny legs with striped socks will be installed in the middle of the pavilion.

5] Hidden Mickey Hunt
Yep, it's the ride we've all been waiting for.  More than 100,000 Hidden Mickeys decorate this all-Mickey ride.  Every single object inside is actually a Mickey shape.  And it's a video game.  Shoot your Hidden Mickey Finder Laser and see if you can find more Hidden Mickey's than the person sitting next to you.  Even the ride vehicles themselves are, you guessed it... large Hidden Mickeys.  We'll all happily say farewell to Pinocchio's Daring Journey and The Great Movie Ride, both of which are making way for this magical and innovative new ride.

 

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Reader Comments (17)

Maybe we can put trailer wheels under these attractions and make them a traveling show.

April 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFiFi Phoggs

Man, am I glad it is April 1st...some of these things I wouldn't put too far past Disney execs, though.

April 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKurt

Actually, that hidden mickey idea sounds kinda cool. At least the version in my head does. My family would really get a kick out of trying to see who could get more mickeys. You write it like it's supposed to be lame or something.

And I'm sorry, but autopia is already lame. You get to pretend to drive a car. Woo. I can drive a real car. So adding HSM to it is a shrug of the sholders and a "whatever" for me.

Muppet babies isn't even on the air anymore is it?

April 1, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdisney obsessor

Oh you think way to much like me! I'm sure some Exec at Disney has actually thought of these. :) Sigh.

April 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSubsonic

.................as shocking as this SHOULD be...........sadly none of it would have really surprised me. Nowadays it's kinda like lets wait and see which attraction goes down first!

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike Cozart

These are all terrible, and of course they are intended to be, but the worst is the Hidden Mickey one. It caters to the lack of taste of so many guests in my opinion. Actually, all 5 of these are about equally terrible because they destroy things that are great the way they already are.

I like looking for hidden things in rides as much as anyone but not little mickey heads. There are FAR more interesting things to discover in every ride that pertain specifically to that ride and it's story than a Mickey head shape. Just sayin'.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSKIPP

"THAT JUNGLE BOAT RIDE"... hhhaaha. That sounds like a true modern-day Disney executive. Eisner himself couldn't name 5 rides the day he was hired as C.E.O.

April 2, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTL98H8R

I'm writing to both thank you for creating this blog, which I love, but also to say that I had some similar nightmares about where Disney would head with new attractions in the new century. In one of these they replaced the traditional 3pm character parade with a Hunchback of Notre Dame "Fool's Parade" where there were actually no Disney characters (or floats) as such but guests were given Quasimodo humps to wear on their backs and plastic scepters to wave around as they marched down Main Street to Billy Joel music from Oliver & Co. But I had that dream in the late 1990s when it still seemed a little absurd... by now I'm sure there has already been a parade like that. Keep up the good work!!!

April 3, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Mike: Haha, your dream/nightmare is amazing. I can just picture all these guests walking down Main Street with fake humps on their backs waving around scepters to Billy Joel. LOL! Wow.

April 4, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLilly

Thank you, Mike for your enjoying the blog.

I have to say, you would make a great Disney upper manager with dreams like that. Like they say, "dreams come true", so according to that, guests will soon be imitating disabled cartoon characters to 1980s Billy Joel songs. Can't wait.

April 7, 2010 | Registered CommenterAdmin

Great article, but here's my own twist if I may:

#1 Create after removing the track guide on Autopia. This will make numerous YouTube moments.

#2 Anything with Hannah Montana is already a "Scary Adventure". Just like the thought of her dad getting his own career.

#3 Only if Randall eats stitch.

4 & 5 need to be flipped.

#4 Hidden Mickey Hang-Gliding Adventure. All HM's are smaller than a quarter and blend into their surroundings.

#5 Muppet Babies Hunt. They each get a 10 second head start.

April 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterWDW Fanboy #3

THOSE ARE GREAT, WDW Fanboy #3. Brilliant ride ideas.

April 21, 2010 | Registered CommenterAdmin

Nice article, and painfully too true. Except that nobody really relates to the Muppets these days. Not even little kids (they have no idea what they are). Eisner believed that Kermit was "evergreen", but sometimes what looks green is merely tarnish.

September 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPoor Cecco

LOL I get the feeling you didn't like the Pirate Lair refurb of Tom Sawyer Island.

September 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Ninja Pirate

Cool! Always up for new rides.

December 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I was so worried the Great Movie Ride was going when I initially read this. I couldn't believe there wasn't a link attached stating the whereabouts of a coup.

December 22, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRebecca

LOL - I know this post is kind of "vintage" itself now - but you were ahead of your time, as given how things have gone for her in the past few years, I have seen several tabloid headlines very similar to #2!

July 12, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

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